Vigilante Students Give UFPD The Parking Tickets


After years of countless parking tickets and unfair speeding fines for going 21.2 MPH, UF students are finally putting the power back in their own hands. 

According to this rogue group of students who chose not to be named, UFPD will be penalized for parking in obscure or inconvenient places like the sidewalk in front of Gator Dining, or the only open spot left in the commuter’s lot.

PARKING CITATION AUTHORIZED BY UF STUDENT BODY $35 VENMO @PARKINGTICKETUF,”

The tickets on campus read.

“BUT AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE TO PAY TUITION TOO.”

 Ben Tempers, a spokesman for UFPD said that they were originally unaffected by the notes, which they brushed off as a silly student prank, until penalties started being enforced.

The Big Yellow Boot which locks a parked squad car into place and is often used by UFPD has somehow been modified and is now being used against UFPD squad cars with three or more ‘Unpaid Parking’ citations on the back of their vehicles.

“This kind of behavior is unacceptable”

Says Dean Howler, an officer for the UFPD. 

“As an officer of the law, if I need to park on the Reitz Lawn I’ll do it– and getting these impossible Big Yellow Boots is just uncalled for.”

When questioned about officer Howler’s statement an Undercover Student Parking Enforcer claims the same issue.

“Everyone has to park; Officer Dean just doesn’t get that when you’re on your way to class you can’t circle a parking lot 20 times,”

The USPE said.

“Maybe they should switch places with us for a while and they can be the ones spending all their cash on the Reitz Union Bookstore Parking.”

Currently the proceeds from the venmo: @PARKINGTICKETUF is being used to help pay parking tickets for students all across campus who have been victim to the yellow tickets. As for UFPD, they are considering retaliations against the students that could possibly include lowering the speed limit to 8 MPH or undercover bike cops. 


Vigilante Students Give UFPD The Parking Tickets

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