A fourth year finance major was swiping through Tinder late Thursday night when a girl named Amanda popped up on his phone screen. Again.
Joe Brooks said that since his freshman year, he had seen Amanda on Tinder numerous times. He had admired her clever bio about her love of dogs and Starbucks and the fact that all of the pictures were her, and had always swiped right.
“It was never a match,” said Brooks.
Brooks has been on multiple Tinder dates throughout his college career, but none of them ever left him feeling a spark of real connection. Frustrated with Tinder, he would delete his account entirely. After re-downloading Tinder on this particular Thursday for possibly the fifteenth time, he felt some power in the universe wash over him when Amanda appeared from under the stack of Tinder profiles. He assumed once again it probably wouldn’t be a match, but hoped in his soul there was a chance.
It was a match.
“My heart started racing. I knew I needed to say something amazing immediately before she unmatched me,” said Brooks.
Palms sweaty, Brooks tried to wrack his mind for the perfect response.
“I messaged her, ‘Hey girl’…and then I added, ‘I like Kanye West too,’” said Brooks, referring to her Top Spotify Artists featured in her profile.
He thought that was a good enough conversation starter. One hour passed, and Brooks started getting nervous. Two hours passed, and he thought maybe he should purchase a disguise to form a new identity. After three hours of agonizing dead silence from Amanda, she replied– and after a few flirtatious messages the two had set a date for Ladies’ Night at Swamp.
“Yeah I had seen his profile before, but the one blurry picture and fish emojis in his bio threw me off,”
Amanda said, who estimates that she’s been on roughly 23 unsuccesful Tinder dates.
“But I’m about to graduate and figured if it goes down hill I can just leave town and never have to see him again anyway.”
“You know, this could be the one,” said a hopelessly romantic Brooks.
However, Brooks’ friends have reminded him that there’s plenty of other girls out there if Amanda works out– who knows, maybe it’ll eventually work out with the cute TA that failed Brooks out of Stats.