Pool of Lava Found in Marston Basement


Eyewitnesses have reported seeing new signs up in Marston early this morning warning students and library employees about a seemingly dangerous pool of molten lava in the library’s basement.

A spokesman for the library said that a janitor discovered the pool in one of the study rooms early this morning when they lifted up the carpet to try and remove 45 years of discarded gum. The spokesman, Conrad Vection, said that pools of lava were a staple in the construction of older buildings to heat the room in colder months.

“We didn’t know that the pool was there, however it definitely never posed a danger to students,”

Vection said.

“Unless you disturb it, or get within 55 feet of the boiling magma, it’s really very safe.”

A few students said that they thought it was a little strange that the library would still be open after they saw the sign, and were a little concerned about remaining in the building with a pool of 1,600 degree volcanic glass beneath them while they study. However, if the asbestos in the Reitz Union is safe, this must be too.

“I understand that the caution tape is keeping us safe and nothing bad can happen,”

Said sophomore Jamie Caller.

“But I was getting a latte when the pool swallowed up half the staircase and 3 desks and the building is really starting to get pretty hot—I still need to study for my chem quiz though so I’ll probably stay.”

UF officials continue to assure the student body and faculty that they are keeping an eye on the pool and are even debating putting up an extra wall of caution tape for an added safety measure.

In the meantime, a team is working on extracting the items that have been coated in volcanic ash to feature in the Harn museum.


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Pool of Lava Found in Marston Basement

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