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May 15, 2017

BREAKING: Professor Doesn’t Care About Summer Class Either

Shocking news has surfaced today, that one UF professor has willingly admitted that he cares just as little about the summer class he is teaching as the students who are in it.

John Amando, 58, who teaches Anthropology 101 over Summer A, supposedly waited until the classroom was totally full with all 13 students to give a breakdown of how the semester would go. Students said that the speech was short, only going so far as to say that he was just as apathetic as they were about the class, and would most likely put in the bare minimum of work required by him.

“At first I was shocked, usually professors are all preach-y about going above and beyond the standards of [...]

 
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April 27, 2017

Cicerone Walks Backwards Through Graduation

Amidst the graduation ceremonies this week, one student made waves by letting an unusual habit kick in during commencement.

Gary Callio, 22, was graduating Suma Cum Laude with a degree in Chemistry, but when his name was called to receive his diploma—he walked completely backwards across the stage, only turning around to move his tassel to the other side.

“We were so proud when we saw his name come up on the screen,”

Callio’s grandmother, Lily Ovanda, said.

“But then he turned around, and practically moon walked to the podium while spouting facts about campus.”

Despite the obvious shock and confusion of his friends and family, Callio [...]

 
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April 4, 2017

Freshman Experiences First Day of Rainesville Jokes

A freshman has finally been initiated as a UF student after being treated to his first day of hearing the entire student body’s exhausted “Rainesville” jokes.

Alex Gore, 18, said that this is his first semester on campus as an Innovation Academy student, so there have been many things he has yet to experience.  However, after this afternoon Gore said he feels like a real Gator.

“When I woke up to rain this morning, I didn’t think much of it—it rains all the time in Florida,”

Gore said, standing in a waist deep puddle.

“But then it didn’t stop, and I thought “wow, it rains a lot in Gainesville” and I went on Twitter to make a joke about it; that’s when it [...]

 
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March 28, 2017

Basketball Fan Unaware They Don’t Have to Keep Every Pom-Pom

One UF student is reportedly completely oblivious that keeping the pom-poms given out at UF basketball games is optional, much to the dismay of his roommate who is forced to live with his growing collection.

Lewis Carter, 18, has been to every home basketball game this semester, and often shows his team spirit with face paint, blue and orange overalls, and as much free Gator memorabilia as he can find in the bleachers before the game starts.

“At first it was funny going to the games with Lewis because he was so into it,”

Said Carter’s roommate Alex Dubrove.

“But then he started taking every leftover orange and blue pom-pom home like it was his job, I don’t [...]