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Plant Sentenced to Death on Dorm Windowsill

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A local coleus was selected from a UF plant drop, blissfully unaware that being handled by exploratory freshman Kendra Cotton is synonymous with certain...
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Ominous Broadcast Interrupts Homecoming Game

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Yesterday morning, the football stadium was ablaze in orange and blue colors as fans cheered and music played. Suddenly, silence fell as...
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Depressed Student Eats Subway Five Days in a Row

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A geology sophomore was recently spotted at the Rawlings Subway, the saddest Subway of them all, a full five days in a...
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Krishna Ditches Refills, Causes Local Recession

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The city of Gainesville has been consumed by a frenzy of unemployment, inflation and rising store prices after Krishna lunch ruled out...
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UF Health Requiring Students Verify Covid Status with Pinky Swear

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In the interest of protecting the health and welfare of students, UF Health has implemented a new protocol for validating data gathered...
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Engineering Student Reinvents Wheel

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Sophomore engineering students Cody Sinclair and Marc Thompkins have broken ground with a brand-new invention. “You know the saying,...
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Articles

Portal to Hell Found in Little Hall Bathroom

In news unsurprising to anyone who has ever entered a Little Hall bathroom, a demonic force has reportedly ripped open the fabric or space-time...
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Wow! This Study Abroad Student Became Bilingual In 10 Days!

One student who participated in a study abroad program over summer has shocked and awed her peers this week by returning this semester completely...
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Girl Decorates Dorm With Exotic Tapestry From Target

A freshman student has been commended for her astounding interior design skills after she decorated the walls of her double room dorm with a...
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Study Group Fails Exam But Makes Lifelong Friendships

UF’s record for longest continuous joint study session was recently set by a collection of students who came together to prepare for the first...
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Senior forgets to take picture with Bull Gator, not allowed to graduate

One fewer Gator will be receiving their diploma during this spring’s graduation ceremony after a student made one tragic mistake this past week. Jennifer McMahey,...
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UF student graduates, raises family before SNAP van finally arrives

A special report was brought to the Crocodile recently regarding an incident that took place in 1985, where a UF alumnus claims that his...
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UF Homecoming Parade Gets Stuck Behind RTS Bus

UF Parade Analysts have announced that the homecoming parade scheduled for this afternoon will be delayed at least 4 hours due to being stuck...
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Breaking: A UF student is from Miami!

In a shocking twist of events, the University of Florida has discovered one of their freshman students, Enrique Ramirez, is from the rare region...
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